It arrives today. A letter from the State Bar Office of Admissions. It’s marked CONFIDENTIAL.
Office of Admissions. CONFIDENTIAL. You know what this means, right?
They only now just figured out that I really didn’t pass the bar!! I’m gonna have to do the whole thing all over again! In theory, of course, cuz I’m definitely not doing that whole thing all over again.
In a sort of semi-rational (ok, totally irrational) panic, I rip open the letter.
It’s not what I thought it was.
It’s an invitation of sorts. An invitation to apply to be an apprentice. An apprentice grader. An apprentice grader of July 2006 bar exams.
Wow. This time last year I was FREAKING THE F OUT and now, I might be GRADING EXAMS.
I’m sure all you other Bay Area law-types got the same invite. As an apprentice, it’s just a couple of Saturdays, at least until we become full-fledged graders, making roughly $12 an hour to pretty much make or break (or have absolutely no effect upon – that would be me!) roughly 850 lives apiece.
The thought of me – ME – grading bar exams is insane. (Almost as insane as me – ME – ever working as a damn lawyer. But, I digress.)
Anyhoo, though this profession has so far given me NOTHING but stress, superfluous poundage around the hips and thigh area, an inferiority complex tempered nicely by a healthy sense of superiority, and several hundred dollars worth of bar dues a year, I’m still gonna do it. Or at least, I’m going to apply to be an apprentice grader. Who else is with me?
And wouldn’t it be irony of ironies to find out that, though I myself passed the exam, because I didn’t go to a Top 10 law school or have time to participate on law review, I was somehow unqualified to evaluate the same bar-passing merits in others. Hmmm…