Legal Insanity

Lawyer for a Day

Eve-Marie, Esq. — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 01:34:30 +0000

Ah, that time of year that reminds me that, for an ever-so-brief period in 2006, I was a lawyer.

MCLE is due for me this year, kiddies.

That means I need to cram 10 hours (5 participatory) hours of legal learning into the tail-end of this year. Joy.

I’m getting my 5 (participatory) hours done at the Annual State Bar Meeting in Monterey next month. If you’re there, make sure to say hi – you’ll recognize me from my “Trust me – I’m not a lawyer” t-shirt.

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Pep Talk Post from the Wayback Machine

Eve-Marie, Esq. — Sun, 27 Jul 2008 18:04:16 +0000

It’s that time of year again – children are running and playing, birds are chirping, happy people are barbecuing and sipping mint juleps on their porches (or something) – and not a recent law school graduate is to be seen.

It’s barzam time.

It’s been three years – three years! – since I was there. Watching Kelly’s second journey to success has awakened so many of those old familiar feelings in me. I can’t believe I – we – all survived it.

You’ll survive it too.

* * *
Here’s where I was around this time last year, t-minus three days before the exam.

Resignation
Posted By Eve-Marie on 23rd July 2005 @ 02:21 In Crunch! |

I realize there’s lots of stuff I still don’t know. I acknowledge that a mere 3 days before the exam, I can’t catch up on everything I didn’t do in the past, and everything I didn’t learn, and every attempt I made that was only made with half a heart.

I realize that I can’t do 2000 MBEs, I can’t do 100 essays. I can’t review my flashcards 100 more times. I can’t make up 1000 “My Very Educated Mother Served Us Nine Pizzas” mnemonics and expect them to stick on Tuesday morning.

I have to acknowledge where I’m at and where I can go.

I did learn all this stuff 4 years ago. I passed exams on all these subjects. The exams were arguably harder and more rigorously graded than these will be.

I may not know the name of every item in the CMR, but I could probably recognize it and make something up.

I can read up on MBEs, do a few more, try to figure out the patterns, as much as I can. But I will not do any more MBEs if it makes me feel bad about me. It’s time to take care of my Inner Champion, and I’m pretty sure Rocky’s coach didn’t send him into the ring saying, “Go in there with the knowledge that you’ve got a 70% chance of losing this fight!”

I will outline essays with a critical eye towards writing rule statements and doing full outlines. I will write out a few essays to make sure my timing is right.

I will read my outlines and flashcards. But I won’t get frustrated if I don’t memorize the language on my flashcards because that’s not what’s being tested. I just need the basic idea, and the basic idea is in there.

I will review PTs, and I will do another one. Right now, the PT is my insurmountable mountain of fear obstacle, and I need to prove to me that when it comes down to crunch time, I WILL pull through. I CAN make stuff up just as much as anyone else can. I can guess and do the best I can do.

The past 97 days were supposed to be in preparation for making me feel good about Tuesday. They didn’t. So now it’s come down to Thursday and Friday being my recharge days, and Saturday, Sunday, and Monday being my Nurture the Champion days. I’m not going to try to make myself a Law Machine anymore. Even if I wanted to do that, it’s too late now. At most, I could only be the Law Thingamabob.

So I’m going to be a Champion. I’m going to go in there feeling calm, feeling peaceful. And even if I’m not, I’m gonna fake it. Because the best thing I can do for myself right now is give it my all, have faith in my skills, and surrender it to the Universe, with utter trust that whatever will be, will be, and it’s the thing that’s supposed to happen.

I truly believe that every trial or tribulation is here for me as a learning experience, to make me more the person I’m called to be. As of right now, I don’t know why I’ve been given this test. I’m not sure if it’s to teach me humility, that I need to work a lot harder than I do now to achieve my goals. I’m not sure if it’s to teach me faith in myself, that I know more than I think I do and I can do anything if I put my mind to it. Or perhaps it’s something different about the timing of things in life, or the power of relationships, or who knows, I have no idea. All I can do right now is what I can do – try my best, have faith in the universe that the right thing will happen, and make the best strategic choices I can.

Where you least expect it

Eve-Marie, Esq. — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 03:53:41 +0000

During law school, taking notes on my laptop became infinitely easier (and speedier) once I set up shortcuts in Word. When I typed “la”, for example, it became “lawyer”, “cp” became community property, etc. Those shortcuts still live in my computer, so sometimes while I’m typing something, up pops “fertile octegenarian”.

Tonight it happened again. “Noritake 5-pc place setting” became “Noritake 5-probable cause place setting”. A sentiment I’m sure my fiance would strongly agree with.

Uh, yeah…

Eve-Marie, Esq. — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 21:49:58 +0000

… I guess there was a bar exam or something in February.

1,500 visitors in the past two weeks. Holy crap.

Short and sweet:
– I don’t know what’s going to be on the barzam. Don’t believe predictions anyway. PLEASE don’t believe the predictions. (For more elaboration on this, please see Chapter 26 in my book, “WTF was that doing on the bar exam??”)

– A Professional Responsibility outline? Don’t have sex with your clients, and call them back within 24 hours. I actually picked those tips up IRL and not in BarBri.

– You have not “guaranteed failed” unless you walked out of the exam halfway through the MBE. Believe me. If not studying at all the whole summer before the barzam and sleeping 3 hours a night during the exam didn’t “guarantee fail” me, then nothing can “guarantee fail” you, except you. Unless you write some sort of crazy anarchistic rant in one of your essay books. That might fail you. Unless you’re in California. In which case, in the inimitable words of some BarBri guy, PASS.

Good luck!

… And why can’t I find a pay phone?

Eve-Marie, Esq. — Mon, 31 Dec 2007 03:46:36 +0000

After the craziness of the holidays died down, I found myself with 5 minutes free tonight. I discovered a colleague on LinkedIn, and then I thought to myself, I wonder if there are any more to find on Lawbby.com? Remember that site launched in 2005 when we were all excited about the possibilities of social networking for lawyers? Many of us could be counted among the site’s first members. I even discussed it in an article. So I dug out my dusty Lawbby.com password and fired up the site.

Lo and behold, someone forgot to pay their bill.

Well now where will I get my fix of lawyers and legal types? Ah, JDJive, that bubbling cesspool of bitterness and free speech, surely it won’t let me down. I have but 3 minutes remaining of my free time, and I must fill it with something law-related!

I’m greeted by a blank page with the ominous title “Test Page for Apache Installation.”

My, how times have changed. Now where will I get my fix of law students, proto-lawyers, and trolls? The WSJ Law Blog? Sorry, it’s just not the same. It just feels dirty when I read “TTT Toilet” next to one of those classy pencil sketch portraits.

A Friend’s Story

Eve-Marie, Esq. — Sun, 15 Jul 2007 22:40:54 +0000

Please read this Woman’s Day article. It’s about a friend of mine.

We need a lot more lawyers like her, and a lot less of the other kind.

This blog is dead, long live the blog!

Eve-Marie, Esq. — Sun, 10 Jun 2007 02:54:44 +0000

As you can tell from the lack of posts here since, oh, December 2005, I am far, far away and removed from the barzam game. If you’re looking for your barzam fix and to cheer on a very worthy and deserving barzam candidate, look no further. Go here forthwith and share some barzam love.

New best barzam blog: The Bar Exam is Crazy
crazybarexam.blogspot.com

Love this quote

Eve-Marie, Esq. — Sat, 31 Mar 2007 06:11:22 +0000

“Like many of his classmates, Grayson went on to get a law degree, in part because ‘it took away the questions about your ability.’”

Amen.

BusinessWeek, 3/12/07. An article including Stanley Grayson, now President and COO of M.R. Beal & Co.; became the first African American to head the muni bond department of a major firm, Prudential Securities.

Now my lawyer status matches the rest of my lifestyle.

Eve-Marie, Esq. — Mon, 01 Jan 2007 11:44:49 +0000

Inactive.

No, thank YOU, Bill Gates.

Eve-Marie, Esq. — Mon, 27 Nov 2006 07:59:00 +0000

So, FINALLY, IE becomes compliant. And now my current design looks like crap in IE 7 (the way it’s looked in Firefox all along, natch.)

I’m working on the problem, and at the rate I’ve been attending to the rest of my neglected website, much less this section, it should be resolved within, oh, say, 3 years.

UPDATE: Not that it matters, but the problem is fixed now. Probably.